Patetented Daydreams
by Momentous
Summary: This is what happens when Fred and George Weasley sell daydreams. Very very small HBP spoilers. RonHermione pairing. Choose your own ending!
1. Chapter 1: Beginning

Patetented Daydreams  
By: Momentous  
Disclaimer: Not mine, I only wish it were!

Warning: this is a chose your own adventure. You are of course welcome to read both endings, but one is funny and one is sappy (with a little bit of funny too) enter at your own risk!

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Hermione sat on her bed trying to study. She was failing. She was also failing to ignore Lavender and Parvati giggling about how cute or sweet Won-Won was. Hermione was glaring at them over the top of her book, neither had noticed yet. 

After a renewed bout of spasmatic giggling, Hermione slammed her book shut and started rifling through her trunk to avoid the startled stares from across the room. She didn't know what she was looking for, but she knew she couldn't come up empty-handed. Her fingers closed on a small box; she pulled it out and leaned back not taking her eyes off the label. _Patented Day-Dream Charms_, Hermione read. She remembered the rest of the label without re-reading it, 30 minutes of top quality day-dreaming. She had complimented the twins for this and had therefore received one dream for free. If Hermione ever needed an escape, this was it. She ripped open the box and read the instructions. They were very basic, concentrate and read the incantation. She mumbled the words and the world went hazy.

_Hermione was standing in the middle of a large ballroom. There were people everywhere swirling past her in fabulous gowns. None quite so fabulous as the one she was wearing; it was red, it had a full skirt and a bodice that wrapped seductively around her waist and defining her bust line. Everyone was watching her as she stood surveying the ball like a queen over her kingdom. From across the room a red haired young man stood and walked towards her. He was tall and muscular; he was wearing a black suit with golden brocade and trim. He looked like a Prince, and he had set his sights on the queen of the ball. Hermione didn't see him approach; her back was to him. He put his hand on her shoulder and turned her to face him. Hermione met Fred's eyes. His right hand cupped her face and his left snaked around her waist. There was a momentary pause and then their lips met. Her mind spun at the kiss. The kiss that could possibly have been the greatest of her life, of any life. She felt as if she were melting into him…_

"Holy Shit!" Hermione gasped.

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You now have the choice of what happens next. There are two endings of this fic. One is just silly and humorous the other is also funny, but it has romance in it as well. 


	2. Chapter 2: Funny Option

Patetented Daydreams  
By: Momentous  
Disclaimer: Not mine, I only wish it were!

This would be the "funny" ending! I hope you agree!

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**Fred Must Die **

Hermione was furious! She stormed out of her dorm, through the portrait hole, out onto the grounds, straight to the foot of the Whomping Willow. The Willow sprang to life but not quickly enough, Hermione stomped on the knot that stilled it. The tree snapped back into stillness, the tree nearly seemed frightened of Hermione in her wrath. When she reached the shrieking shack she apparated to the twin's store.

With a loud crack Hermione was standing face to face with Verity, who had just dropped a large armload of something, Hermione didn't care what. "Where's Fred!" Hermione growled.

"Um, I'm not really sure which Mr. Weasley is which at the moment, I can't usually tell," Verity squeaked. "One of them is right there," she said as she pointed to a shocked Fred at the front counter.

"Fred!" Hermione shouted.

"Looking for me," Fred said, swallowing the lump in his throat. He reluctantly came out from behind the counter. "What's up?"

"YOU MONSTER! YOU PUT YOURSELF IN THE DAY DREAMS! HOW COULD YOU? WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO MAKE EVERY GIRL AT HOGWARTS FALL MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU?" Hermione's tirade made George emerge from the back room and take cover behind the counter. Fred was just staring at Hermione with a look of confusion and fear. He would have liked to know what he had done that was going to get him murdered. "I DREAMT OF YOU! YOU WERE KISSING ME! HOW DARE YOU THINK YOU HAVE THE RIGHT! THERE WAS A BALL AND I WAS IN A RED DRESS AND YOU PRACTICALLY ATTACKED ME!"

Realization spread across Fred's face. "THAT ONE WASN'T FOR YOU!" He gasped. "Merlin, Hermione, I'm so sorry! I made that one specifically for Angelina, but some one shelved it accidentally," Fred explained as he shot his twin a dirty look. George was biting his lip to keep from laughing at his brother. "Shit Hermione, I'm almost glad you got it! At least I'm not going to have some idiot girl thinking she fell in love with me. Merlin, Hermione, please don't kill me, and if you must, kill George too, he was the one who shelved it. Here, want a free Pygmy Puff?"

Hermione was still smoldering, but it appeared that there would be no fatalities in the store today. She just turned and apparated away leaving the shopkeepers to themselves. Verity was literally hiding behind a shelf. Fred took a deep breath and turned towards his brother. George had collapsed to ground laughing. He stopped laughing when Fred hit him with a bat bogey hex.

_Fin_

Now please tell me what you think!


	3. Chapter 3: SappyRomantic Option

Patetented Daydreams  
By: Momentous  
Disclaimer: Not mine, I only wish it were!

This is the "Sappy" ending.

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**Sappiness Runs Rampant**

Hermione was furious! She grabbed a quill and a piece of parchment, and began scribbling away. How dare Fred put himself into the daydreams. She glanced at the clock near her bed. The day dream had only lasted ten minutes, she added that complaint to her letter. She sealed the envelope and with a flick of her wand, the envelope went red. She carried the slightly trembling howler to the owlery.

The last customer of the day was leaving the store as the owl swooped in and dropped the letter on the counter in front of Fred. Verity nearly ran behind a shelf in fear of the howler pulsating on the counter.

"Who's it from?" George asked. "And is it just yours or is it to both of us?"

"It's from Hermione! And it's just to me!"

"What'd you do to her?"

"Not a clue. Shall we find out?" Fred asked as he popped the envelope open and took a step back.

"YOU MONSTER! YOU PUT YOURSELF IN THE DAYDREAMS! HOW COULD YOU? WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO MAKE EVERY GIRL AT HOGWARTS FALL MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU? I DREAMT OF YOU! YOU WERE KISSING ME! HOW DARE YOU THINK YOU HAVE THE RIGHT! THERE WAS A BALL AND I WAS IN A RED DRESS AND YOU PRACTICALLY ATTACKED ME! AND YOUR SHODDY PRODUCT ONLY LASTED TEN MINUTES INSTEAD OF THE PROMISED THIRTY!" The howler finished and ripped itself to shreds. Fred and George were looking at each other with identical smirks spreading across their faces. Fred grabbed a piece of parchment from under the counter and wrote his reply and sent the owl back to Hogwarts.

When the owl dropped the letter in her lap at breakfast the next morning, Hermione ripped in.

"What are my brothers writing you for?" Ron asked noticing the Weasley Wizard Wheezes letterhead. Hermione didn't answer so Ron just read over her shoulder.

_Dear Hermione,_

_I did not put myself into any of the daydreams. If you dreamed of me then you wanted to dream of me whether you know it or not. I do not need to force girls to fall for me, I'm charming enough that they do it without my help, as you have so kindly proven. And, as for calling my product shoddy. It will deliver the promised thirty minutes, you just forced yourself out early. Too shocked by you true feelings, is my bet. Just re-say the incantation and it should pick up right where we left off. Let me know how it turns out, I'm terribly interested to know how dream Fred "makes-out!"_

_Yours Truly_

_Fred Weasley_

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING DREAMING ABOUT FRED!" Ron bellowed before storming out of the great hall. Hermione didn't know what to think. She had actually dreamed about Fred. There were a million questions spinning through her head.

_Why hadn't it been Ron! She liked Ron, didn't she?_

_Since it was Fred, why Fred and not George, they were basically, entirely identical._

_What was she going to do?_

_What was Ron about to do!_

Ron marched up to the statue of the witch with the hump and entered the secret passage to Honeydukes. As soon as he got there he apparated to the twin's store. With his newfound focus, he left no eyebrows behind. When Fred looked up to see Ron standing there he didn't need to ask why. He just took some evasive action; he made sure the counter was between his little brother and himself at all costs. He knew that in this mood Ron wouldn't think of his wand, he'd just flatten his brother.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HERMIONE'S DAYDREAMS!"

"Listen Ron, I had nothing to do with it. I swear, it's totally her imagination. You can't blame me for this. If she's dreaming about me then her subconscious wants to dream about me. I'm sorry, there is nothing I can do!"

Ron jumped over the counter grabbed his brother's collar and pinned him to the back wall. "Why are you in Hermione's day dream?" He was no longer screaming, and the look in his eyes made Fred feel like there was a large angry animal chewing on his intestines. "Are you two involved? Have you kissed her? Tell me!"

Fred was actually feeling guilty, even though he truly hadn't done anything. "I swear Ron. I'm completely innocent. I've never done anything to Hermione. Well, at least nothing that would make her fall in love with me. I treated her basically the same way I treated Ginny, possibly a little worse because she was a prefect and therefore my sworn enemy. I'm sorry Ron. I really am. I know how you feel about her. I shouldn't have made a joke of it in the letter."

Ron let his brother go. He couldn't deny the sincerity in his brother's voice. Ron's flaming anger was gone; it was replaced by hot tears. "Why is she dreaming about you?" Ron's words nearly tore Fred's heart out. He threw his arms around his brokenhearted baby brother.

Hermione had retreated to the common room after Ron's outburst in the great hall. She was hoping to find Ron so she could explain. Not that she knew how to explain. When she didn't find him there she headed up to the boy's dorm. When he wasn't there either she sat on his bed trying to figure out how to explain things to him. A few minutes later, Harry entered the room.

"Care to fill me in?" He asked politely.

Hermione told him the whole story, the dream, the howler and the reply.

"Wow, are you in love with Fred?"

"I don't think so," Hermione said. Tears were beginning to spill from her eyes. "I thought I liked Ron, but Fred said this is my mind making things happen. What if I do like Fred? I couldn't! I wouldn't do that to Ron."

"Maybe you should finish the dream 'Mione." Ron said. Neither Harry nor Hermione had noticed him entering the room. He came over and sat on the bed next to her. "It'd be better to know."

Hermione nodded and pulled the incantation out of her bag. "Would you two stay. I don't know why, but I think I'd feel better doing this if you guys were around." Turning to Ron she added, "Will you still be my friend no matter what?"

Ron gave Hermione a hug. "I'm your friend no matter what, and Fred's not a bad guy, he's pretty smart when he wants to be." Ron said trying to keep the shaking out of his voice.

Hermione said the incantation again.

_Fred released Hermione from the kiss. She said nothing for there was another hand on her shoulder now. She turned to see George standing before her. He leaned in, but before there lips met, someone grabbed Hermione's arm and pulled her free of the twins. She was completely wrapped in Bill's arms now. Fluer was standing just behind looking furious. Hermione smirked. Before Bill could do anything, Charlie had shoved him off of Hermione. Hermione spun and found herself surrounded by five of the six Weasley brothers. As she scanned the group she realized that Harry was in the circle as well, along with Draco, Seamus, Dean, Neville and nearly every boy at Hogwarts, everyone except for Ron. They were all fighting for her attention; attempting to charm her, kiss her and some even offering gifts and anything else they had at there disposal. Then the group parted, and Ron strode to the center. He pulled Hermione into his arms and kissed her. The kiss made every other kiss, including Fred's, vanish from the universe._

Hermione returned to reality smiling. She slowly opened her eyes to see Ron looking apprehensive. "Well?" he gulped. "What was the rest of the dream about?"

Hermione spared him the details. She just leaned over and kissed him.

_Fin_

Now please tell me what you thought!


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